HIV Dating is a time when you have the opportunity to make or break a lasting (or the prospect of it) relationship with the person you are attracted to most. It is a fragile moment when your date is supposed to like you in the first 10 minutes or make her give your request of a second date a second thought.
Your success at getting a truly awesome relationship rests in how well you handle your first or even the succeeding dates with the person you are deeply infatuated with. So, when going out on a date, especially if it’s on your first date, be sure to have everything thought out well enough to make it a truly magical experience for you and for your date.
First of all, realize that dating, especially the first one, is just a way to get to know each other. Remember, you asked the person out because you were sincerely interested and utterly attracted to him or her in the first place. So, what’s the point of rushing into things other than getting to know the person first?
To facilitate the mood of the event, pick a nice place to go beforehand. It is safe to ask the person beforehand where he or she wants to go. Is the person keen on heading to the concert slated this Friday evening? Is the person a great fan of Twilight the movie? Is he or she a sushi buff? Or is he or she hinting at the classic candlelight dinner? It’s all up to you really to find out.
Be very conscious of how you look as well when you go out to a date. But don’t discount the wisdom of “being your plain old self”. Remember, if the person said “yes” to your invitation in the first place, that means he or she was not turned off by how you look the moment you asked the person out. Otherwise, you’ve had gotten a plain cold “no”. Just brush up on a few little things like wearing the appropriate clothes for the occasion, wearing just the right makeup, wearing a little perfume (little means just right so your date won’t suffocate), etc. Don’t overdo things. Just be your plain old self.
Most importantly, to make your date feel good and to make yourself feel good about yourself (honestly it will), realize that dating is an “all about you” (the other person) affair. Most of the time, we tend to just talk about stuff that relate to us. We engage in hours long monologue without checking to see if our date is truly engaged with you in the moment. To make the event a truly “all about the other person” affair find out what interests him or her and focus your conversation on it. Don’t let your conversation just wander off. But when asking about stuff that interests the other person don’t be too intrusive. Ask about how she likes the sport he or she is on right now. Find out by “listening without interrupting” what’s interesting about her. When you finally find out what’s interesting about him or her, encourage the person to talk about it and show your sincere interest as well. Bear in mind that false interest barely work.
I remember reading a chapter in one of Dale Carnegie’s book relating to this. The host of the party where he went one night told the other guests that he had never talked to a great conversationalist before like Dale Carnegie. They were engaged in several hours of conversation that night. Do you know how the conversation went? Dale was just listening the whole time and the other guy was hard at talking his heart out.
HIV Dating shouldn’t be hard. It shouldn’t be any harder if you just let the other person be the “person of the occasion”. By simply letting the other person feel truly important, the magic of dating will come to life.